Here we are, our annual harvest time is coming to a close. Temperatures are dropping, the day is getting shorter and the night longer. Every season has its magic, its festival, its sacred ritual. For thousands of years this time of year has been honored for the thin veil that exists between the physical world and that of our deceased ancestors by people around the world. El Día de Los Meurtos in Mexico, Pitru Pakasha in Hinduism, Pchum Ben in Cambodia, and All Saints and All Souls Day in Catholicism are but a few ways people, culture, and religions honor this time. What all of these rituals have in common is remembering our dead and the life affirming qualities that Death holds. It is not called the after LIFE for nothing.

Gratitude for Death

A wise teacher and Wira Medicine Man once told me that the base compromise that all humans have with the creative forces for this opportunity to be alive in our beautiful bodies is gratitude. We offer gratitude up as payment for this mystical multi-sensory experience we are living within. Gratitude is a skill to build, and its power is limitless. And it also requires recognizing and then remembering what it is we are grateful for before offering it up. First we become aware of a phenomenon, element, feeling, memory of a friend or family member who has died, relationship, or wrinkles around your eyes. Then we move on, and as we do we can choose to remember and again offer up this gratitude.

From a spiritual perspective, this gratitude fuels the fire of life. It fuels the fire of our ancestors who have died and live on elsewhere. It fuels the fires of our own hearts. Modern neuroscience shows that gratitude stimulates more neurotransmitters in our brain, specifically dopamine and serotonin, which promote feelings of contentment. Gratitude comes from recognition and remembering. We can put this in our back pocket and save it for a bit later.

Understanding Samhain

So, onto Samhain. Starting with the end in mind, Samhain is an event in the in Celtic and Pagan annual cycle where the Sun King dies after giving his Life (harvest) for the people so that they may live through winter. In this tradition each year the Divine Masculine is born on the winter solstice by the Divine Feminine. Each year the Divine Masculine grows up and dances with the Divine Feminine through various stages of life including lover, father, provider, and elder and dies each year at Samhein to pause while being held by the Divine Feminine and be born again on Winter Solstice. The Divine Feminine moves through a similar process of Maiden, Mother, and Crone except she is omnipresent and simply transforms within her infinite life never dying to be reborn.

Samhain honors this time of death after the crops are reaped for their bounty. Death is celebrated as an imperative event each year and in our walk as humans and all those who have died before us are honored and remembered. Feasts take place and a seat, plate, and cup are set aside for those who are no longer physically with us but exist in the spirit world. It is through this remembering that those who have died are kept alive and happy.

As the Sun King dies, he does not do so alone. He is held by the Divine Feminine in this process that he may die well and in trust of what is to come. He is supported to let go and allow the natural and sacred process of death to renew him.

Fall Embodies a Death Doula

So what does remembrance, gratitude, fall, and honoring our dead have to do with your life and being a Death Doula? For me, this time of year embodies a Death Doula. It is a time to take advantage of our opportunity to be alive and give gratitude for this human experience, and it is a time to support others in doing the same. It is a time to support others in dying (physically or through other transitions) and to create closure and meaning in their life well-lived. A time to support them to see that while this is the end of this chapter, perhaps the journey continues and there is light being born just around the river bend. Let us honor this sacred dance of life through building our relationship with death and offering up gratitude for this beautiful opportunity to be alive right now.

If you are looking for a new tradition/ritual/activity this season try creating an ancestral altar or seat at a dinner. This physical space is where you can remember and honor your ancestors through offering, photo, and/or prayer.

This blog post was a gracious contribution made by a Sacred Passage End of Life Doula student, Brad Smith.

Brad has worked and studied around the world supporting people of all ages to step into their sacred walk, wherever it is taking them. From adolescents’ rites of passage to Death and dying and many points in between, Brad supports people in building relationship between themselves and the sacred mysteries.

Brad has recently left his career with Boulder County’s Sustainability Office to hit the road and be a mobile death doula and student of wisdom keepers of various lineages.