Working in end-of-life care has me constantly facing the reality of my own mortality. How can it not, right? Death is inevitable, my death is inevitable. It is the one certainty we cannot argue, prove wrong or avoid. So, knowing this, and having the mindset that you will one day die, does that change the way you live your life?

If you woke up this morning, and someone told you that today was going to be your last day, what is the first thing you would do? And how would it differ from any other day? I thought about this for quite some time and what it came down to, was that stuff and things do not matter, all that I could think about doing is having one last conversation with my kids and my granddaughters. One last chance to tell them how much I love them, how wonderful they are and how truly blessed I feel to have loved them all these years and to have felt their love in return.

I say this often, but I believe it is important to repeat; do not wait for the bedside to say the things. If we spent every day saying the things that matter, the things that will comfort someone else, and leave them knowing how truly loved and appreciated they are… we would never have to wonder if they knew. More than likely, we will not have the luxury of a heads up about how much time we have left, unless we are given a terminal diagnosis, but even that can be unpredictable. Why wait for those moments to shower the people we love, with love?

I feel like we take an awful lot for granted, assuming tomorrow will come, bringing us another day much like today, with everyone we love always within reach. It is with that mindset that we sometimes skip a day, a week, months and sometimes years, forgetting to say the things to the people we love. This leaves a window of time where people are left not knowing, not having that reminder, and in some ways even questioning if perhaps the love has faded, and maybe the people they love have stopped caring the way they used to. The thought of this makes my heart ache. The thought of having someone I love feeling uncertain, makes me sad. If I died today, it would devastate me to know that the people I love, with my whole heart, might not know it… because I hadn’t said it in such a long time. And on the flip side… what if someone I loved died, not really knowing how I felt about them, how deeply loved they were or that they mattered to me? I cannot live the rest of my life feeling this way.

If this was going to be your last day, is there anyone you would want to say some last words to? Is there someone you want desperately to lavish a little extra love on? Is there a relationship that needs mending, apologies that need to be said, or forgiveness that needs to be extended? Imagine if you had already done these things. Imagine if you spent every day letting the people you love know how much they mean to you? Imagine if you mended relationships long ago and had no feelings of regret… and no unfinished business.

If this was my last day, I know without any doubt that the people I love, know exactly how loved they are. I know in my heart that relationships that needed mending have healed, and any regrets I used to feel are gone, leaving me feeling that I have lived my life well and full and I have loved fiercely. If I had any regret, it would be that there wasn’t going to be more, and I want so much more.

Today is certain, and it is promised. Tomorrow… is an un-promised bonus day. Don’t waste this time on things you should have said or done, instead do and say it all now… so that your bonus days are a little more fun, a little fuller and filled with more memory making and love sharing… the take-aways for the people you love. xo

Have you been called to become a sacred passage end-of-life doula?

Gabrielle was introduced to end of life care when she was asked to sit at the bedside of a friend who was dying. The time she spent with him ignited a calling she realizes now, had been inside her since she was very young. It was caring for him that inspired her to go back to school to become a hospice nurse. In her first book, "Soft Landing" she talks about the struggles she had going back to school later in life. In her second book, "The Hospice Heart", she takes you back to her childhood, which clearly indicates she was meant to do this work since she was seven years old. Both books offer an insight into her compassionate and gentle heart and the lovely way she provides comfort and care to someone who is dying, as well as for those who have to say goodbye.

Her intention is to combine her hospice experience with being an end of life doula, continuing to provide beautiful care at the end of life. Gabrielle brings her whole heart and shares it generously.

Gabrielle's latest book At The Bedside has just been released, you can get it now: Purchase "At the Bedside"